10 Important Issues to Discuss Before Marriage


Written By: Shelagh Blumberg

You may be in love, but it doesn’t mean you should get married. Most relationships are all fun and games for the first couple of years, but that all changes with time. The infatuation eventually fades and reality kicks in.

Is his adorable smile worth living in Nebraska when you want to live in Chicago? Is her sense of humor worth $140,000 in student loan debt?

There’s a lot more to think about than how much fun it is to be around someone right now. Your life will be altered. Is this the right individual for the job in the long run?

A long chat before marriage can help avoid problems later on and encourage the ultimate transition from infatuation to deeper love.

Before getting married, discuss the following considerations with your significant other:

  1. Where are you going to live? Which is better, city or country? Should I live in a condo or a house? Whether you live in the same town as your mother-in-law or far, far away. You spend the majority of your time at home.

Where you reside has a significant impact on your life. Are you both on the same wavelength? The only way to be certain is to discuss it.

  1. Who will do the cleaning? What is the home labor division? Will the husband handle the repairs, mow the lawn, change the oil on the cars, and pick up the dog poop? Who does the cooking? Who does the cleaning? Is everything balanced? There is no correct or incorrect answer, although it is helpful if you both agree.
  2. How much debt do each of you have? The most prevalent marriage obstacle is financial issues. How much debt do each of you have? How willing are you to deal with the debt of your prospective spouse? How open are they to dealing with yours? Will you both be accountable for your own debt? What is the strategy?

Four. Children. Do you both want kids? How many, if any? If your replies aren’t in sync, you could be in for a lot of trouble. Never expect that your partner will change their views in the future to accommodate you. It’s a risky game to play.

  1. Colleagues. Will you and your husband be attached at the hip, or will you both be free to spend time with your different friends? Some people enjoy spending time alone. Others are concerned that their spouse will be alone with the boys/girls.
  2. Investing. Some folks enjoy saving money. Others enjoy spending money. People who disagree on this issue may find it difficult to get along in the long run. Create a strategy that works for both of you.

Accounts in a bank. Separate? Joint? A joint account to pay bills, but also a separate account for each? Who will foot the bill for what? Will it be a coin flip? Will the higher earner pay a larger share of the bills?

Religion is number eight. Some folks do not want to attend to church every week. Others are quite serious about attending church sessions. There may be other religions to consider as well. Will you attend different churches? Will one of you attend church while the other stays at home?

  1. Sex. Everything comes down to style and frequency. The issue is more likely to be frequent in most couples. Do you share the same sexual desires?

10 points for neatness. It’s difficult for a neat person to live with a messy person. For the best results, resolve this issue prior to marriage so that there are no surprises.

Marriage may be a beautiful experience! It might also be a nightmare. It’s critical to do everything possible to ensure that you’ll be able to make each other happy for many years to come. Before you tie the knot, talk about these critical topics.

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