Written By: Sheelagh Blumberg
Are you really happy?
True happiness is quite elusive, and to be honest, not many people get to experience it. Pursuing happiness is a lifetime venture, and it is inevitable to struggle with happiness at a certain point in your life. To many, happiness means enjoying a certain degree of success and admiration. To some, it may mean being in a loving and happy relationship that causes them to be emotionally fulfilled. The pursuit of happiness varies from one person to another. What might contribute to your happiness might not necessarily play a role in someone’s happiness. However, what makes most people unhappy is quite similar. This article will shed light on how you can achieve true happiness, with the core focus being on what you are doing wrong that is keeping you away from true happiness.
As much as it is customary sometimes to feel insecure, lonely, or even have a sense of regret in life, there are things that you do that, in one way or the other, contribute to your unhappiness. Here are the things you are doing that lead you astray from your happiness.
Worrying too much?
Worrying is inevitable. It is our natural reaction when things are not going our way. However, overdoing it can jeopardize your happiness. Worrying about something you have no control of is one indicator that you are on the wrong path to happiness. For instance, worrying about what others think about you, imagining what might go wrong. Worrying about everything is a great cause of emotional distress, leading to anxiety and tension. Worrying too much puts you into a state of negative emotions, draining you and making you miserable. This misery eventually breeds unhappiness.
Holding on to things?
True happiness comes from within; it does not result from material wealth or your environment. It is a state of internal well-being that only you can control. Your happiness is dependent mainly on your ability to shake off unpleasant things that happen in your life. This might be past disappointments, losses, regrets, anger, etc. If you do not come to terms with your past and let go of your misfortunes, it is impossible to be happy truly. Holding on to things can cause you to hold grudges and struggle to forgive those who put you through your misery. Dwelling on your past can cause immense resentment and bitterness in your heart, which will only make you unhappy. If you find it difficult to let go of things and move on, it might indicate that you are setting yourself up for unhappiness. True happiness is about moving on from your painful experiences and healing your wounds.
Sometimes we subconsciously compare ourselves to others without even knowing. And while there is nothing role with comparing yourself with your role model or mentor, comparing yourself to others does you more harm than good. If you constantly compare yourself to others, especially on social media, you are affecting your happiness. Comparing yourself to others makes you more conscious of your weaknesses and causes you to feel like you are not good enough. It can cause you to feel inferior and contribute to your insecurity. Constant and unending social comparison can drive you into loneliness and depression. Comparing yourself to others destroys your sense of pride and causes you to degrade yourself.
Are you grateful for what you have? True happiness is born from recognizing and acknowledging the little blessings in your life. It can be the fact that you are alive today, having a place to sleep, or even spending some quality time with the ones you love. Oh, how about the fact that you can see and read this. Many simple and basic things are going well for you. Do not take them for granted. Appreciate what you have. Gratitude is a sure path to happiness because it makes you mindful of the positive things in your life. Being ungrateful and complaining about what you don’t have throws gasoline into your unhappiness. So take some time to reflect on what you have and be grateful for that.
Are you a pessimistic person who is constantly fixated on the negative side of things? Well, you are harming your true happiness. Always looking at the negative side of things is a massive catalyst of unhappiness. While it is okay to weigh the good and downside of things, constantly being pessimistic is a bad habit that harms your happiness. Negative thoughts drive you towards self-criticism and bringing yourself down. Celebrate your achievements and see the positive in every situation. Negative thoughts amplify your fears and dissatisfactions, which only fuels negative emotions.
The company you keep can either break or make your happiness. Happiness and unhappiness are both contagious. That means the people around you affect your happiness in one way or another. Having negative people around you can cause you to be unhappy. They can channel their toxic and negative energy to you and make you feel self-defeated. Having bad company only wears you down through constant complaining.
Moreover, they do not support you in pursuing happiness and constantly discourage you from pursuing your goals and aspirations. If the company you keep does not have the right attitude or their behavior does not push you towards happiness, you are on the wrong path to happiness. Quit gravitating towards people who are bad for you and protect your peace.
Losing Control and Giving up?
Do you feel like you will never be happy? Are you blaming others for your unhappiness? If that is the case, you are on the wrong path to happiness. You have to take charge of your happiness. You cannot blame others or situations for your unhappiness. If you take control of your happiness, there is no room to blame others. Whether your parents divorced or you have an abusive partner, if you take control of your happiness, you will realize no external factors have a bearing on your true happiness. Losing control and blaming others, and even giving up on happiness is denying yourself the opportunity of fixing things. Feeling helpless and leaving your happiness in the hands of others is the wrong way of pursuing happiness.
If you relate to any of the reasons here, it might be time to change your course before you hit a dead end. While many underlying issues may lead to unhappiness, if you can steer clear of these few things, then I believe you can make things right and still make it to true happiness. So don’t hesitate to take a step closer to true happiness.