Every partnership has disputes. When conflicts arise, battling fairly can help to guarantee that the situation improves rather than worsens. It’s difficult to remain cool and courteous after you’ve been wronged. However, the alternative does not guarantee a positive outcome, at least not for long.
Fight fairly, and your relationship will survive difficult times!
Try the following methods:
- Listen. You can’t battle fairly if you don’t comprehend your opponent’s perspective. Listen more than you speak. Keep your inner monologue to a minimum. You can’t listen to anyone else if you’re listening to yourself.
• Take turns talking. Allow your partner to speak first, then respond. You’ll have plenty of time to make your argument.
• Ask open-ended questions to get the whole story.
- Be considerate. Being cruel will not get you anywhere. You may be seeing crimson, but your words should not reflect it.
• If you are unable to be kind, consider deferring the topic until another time. Most arguments may be postponed.
- Do not make assumptions. It’s easy to believe you have a thorough understanding of the problem. Your companion, on the other hand, may have a completely different viewpoint. You don’t know what another person is thinking until you give them the opportunity to express themselves. You may be missing out on information. Nobody’s mind can be read.
- Avoid making personal attacks. When you attack another individual, they go on the defensive. You’ve effectively destroyed any possibility of a productive resolution at that point. Address both the behavior and the problem at hand. Avoid actively attacking the other individual.
- Be truthful. Present your thoughts and feelings tactfully. If you don’t have the courage to be honest, the situation will last perpetually. You’ve got this! Take a big breath and be truthful.
- Work together to find solutions. Instead of assigning blame, pool your resources and brainstorm ideas that would satisfy both of you. All too often, the goal of fighting is to assign blame. Turn the tables and focus your entire concentration on identifying solutions that will reduce or remove the source of friction.
• Avoid passing harsh judgment on your partner’s suggestions. “I don’t believe that will work.” “Here’s why…” is much easier to absorb than “That’s a terrible idea.”
- Keep your voice quiet. Most of us will avoid fighting until we have some solitude. Excessive loudness is not required. Your partner is standing just in front of you. By yelling, you risk exacerbating the situation. Maintain self-control.
- Try fighting while holding hands. If you’re sincerely looking for solutions together, why can’t you do so while holding hands?
• If you can’t hold hands, you’re not in the positive state of mind required to resolve the matter. Take a deep breath, relax, and evaluate the advantages of working out a solution together.
- Do not bring up previous mistakes or indiscretions. Your fights should center on current events. What happened three years ago is no longer relevant. Maintain your focus on the now.
- It makes no difference what others think. It makes no difference what your best friend thinks. Neither does your partner’s mother’s view. Your and your partner’s opinions are the only ones that matter.
- Accept accountability. Try to use the word “I” more often than “you.” Discuss your thoughts, feelings, and desires. Consider how you contributed to the disagreement. It’s not solely the fault of the other person.
When arguing with your significant other, keep these rules in mind. Fighting honorably takes self-control and maturity. Maintain your focus on the prize, which is resolution. If your major motivation is to be correct, you will simply prolong your agony. Fight fairly, and your relationship will improve.