Keeping it Cool: 8 Strategies to Respond to Someone Who’s Angry


Have you ever been in an embarrassing position with someone who became very upset and angry? What are you expected to do in such a situation? Is there a method to gracefully resolve the situation?

The good news is that you may start using the following tactics to assist you deal with this unpleasant circumstance right away:

  1. Simply listen. When we are furious, many of us want to vent to someone. And it is frequently done to people that are nearby at the moment. So one excellent strategy is to simply listen to the person express their anger until they “wind down.”
  2. Don’t worry about whether or not you agree with them. When someone is upset, it is best to keep your ideas and feelings to yourself.

• Unless they are upset with you and you are intimately involved in the matter, refrain from discussing your own feelings about whatever is causing the other person to become agitated.

  1. Express your regret. Even if the circumstance that enraged the individual was not your fault, it is still acceptable to say, “I’m sorry you’re upset.” Surprisingly, when an angry person hears this, he or she usually calms down.
  2. Make an attempt to relate. You may say something along the lines of, “I don’t blame you for feeling that way. If that happened to me, I’d feel the same way.” When the other person realizes he is not alone in the world, he may relax. When you interact with him, the angry person may feel justified and understood, and thus his anger will subside.
  3. Protect yourself by trusting your intuition. Trust your instincts, even if most people will not become dangerous or physically confrontational when they are furious. If you feel threatened or in danger, leave the place immediately, without hesitation, and without speaking to the person.
  4. After many minutes, change the subject. When you believe the person has had enough time to talk through or vent his anger, try to redirect the conversation to a less inflammatory topic for him. Inquire about his baseball-playing son or his wife’s employment.

• Those who are angry may feel relief when someone gives them a reason to divert their focus away from the source of their rage.

  1. Provide moral support. When someone is angry, it is fair to ask, “Is there anything I can do?” or “What can I do to help this situation?” For many, asking one of these basic inquiries is an excellent approach to help the person notice that he has someone nearby who is concerned about how he feels.

Encourage others. If you know the individual well and he feels at ease with you, you could offer some verbal encouragement during the difficult circumstance. “I’m sure you’ll be able to work this out with them,” or “Perhaps you’ll be able to resolve the situation right now if you make that phone call.”

• Determine how you can be most encouraging in the situation, and then do it.

Knowing how to appropriately respond to furious individuals is a fantastic “tool” to have in your armory of social skills.

Use the following strategies: listen, keep your emotions out of it, and express your regret that the person is upset. Also, try to connect with the person, follow your instincts to stay safe, and change the subject. Finally, offer moral support and encouragement.

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