Written By: Sheelagh Blumberg
For most of my life, I lived with a challenging contradiction.
I am a desperately romantic and daydreamer. And I have also dealt with stress, fear, and doubt significantly as a grown-up.
You can assumably already see how this can go bad!
I’d have an idea of something I’d want to accomplish, an idea that would exhilarate and fascinate me. I would feel energized—passionate and enthusiastic about the possibility of making a dream a reality. Then I’d hit a challenge or deterrent. And then I would mistrust myself. Occasionally the outcome would be so modest that I wouldn’t even see its consequences—that I avoided doing things to make my dreams happen.
It felt like time was running out.
It was a long and non-linear journey of discovering who I was. I wanted to devour as much knowledge and experiment. It was just trial and error and small triumphs and defeats until I found that something had profoundly altered the center of my being.
I trusted myself again.
I had rediscovered the importance of confident knowledge and experiment. As children, we pushed ourselves with no fear of being judged or ashamed of our mistakes which, as adults, we lose. Rediscovering this version of me saved me.
I could retake risks. My risk was more negligible at first when building up my confidence. It felt so amazing. I felt alive, filled with hope and opportunity.
Now when I have a thought, I can act on it the majority of the time and maintain the vitality and inspiration over ample times for the idea to become a reality.
Transforming the Self-Doubt Habit
If anything of my background echoes you, you have it too—the self-doubt pattern.
We’re mistaken to believe we’re the only ones struggling with opposition. Everyone who has a body experiences opposition. Opposition is the term he uses to refer to our fears, worries, or self-doubt. Now that I have acknowledged this profoundly harmful pattern in myself.
“I want to do this, but I can’t.” “if only my dreams could come true, it would probably never happen.”
“But what if I am not adequate?”
Sound familiar?
These ideas have been vital in helping me acknowledge this destructive pattern and mitigate the results to create conviction in my ability to do the things that matter to me.
- The steps of conviction come first.
- The feelings of belief come later.
I discovered that I had been putting off many things, waiting for the day when I would magically feel more secure!
Acknowledging that this day would presumably never come, I started testing with goals and visions to help me begin taking small steps, which helped me create my conviction over time despite the fear and doubt.
You will either have a “fixed” or “growth” mindset.
Individuals with fixed mindsets think that their skills and intellect are improved, so they spend their lives attempting to establish themselves. The value of their self-worth is constantly on the line, and disappointment is to be detoured. When they experience failure, they feel extreme embarrassment and see it as evidence of not being adequate.
People with growth mindsets think that skills and intellect can be acquired through action and training, so they take on challenges to develop and comprehend. Challenges are to be embraced as the route to fulfilling prospects and understanding.
I realized that I had been working with a fixed perspective.
When I began to work on an idea, whether performing on a creative project or creating a new skill, like learning to write books, I’d give up as soon as I struggled. Struggle for me equaled “I can’t do it”; I’m not adequate.”
However, when I could remember my reflection and see it from a growth mindset. I could notice that idea and say to myself, “I am comprehending; I can get more acceptable with training,” which permitted me to keep putting in the step needed to evolve my talents and become more assured in the area.
These perspective changes have had the most critical influence in helping me keep being able to take action.
Action steps:
- Do whatever you can to evolve and become conscious of your thoughts during the day.
- Make a conscious effort to stop any ideas or speech that sabotages you.
So if you could do anything, what would you select?
The problem comes when we get in our way or become crippled with fear of failure and thoughts that we can never be enough. This is the world of self-doubt, and it’s a tough place to escape.
Until today it’ sits time to take back your life. Don’t let self-doubt take over your dreams. Instead, try these simple tips to get your life back on track.
Take a Trip Down Memory Lane
Ready to revisit history? Chances are you’ve had self-doubts before. But have any of those adverse outcomes ever come true? If so, were the consequences as dire as you’d thought they would be? Now think about the times that things went right. Remind yourself they likely will work out again this time too.
Keep a Journal
Ideally, a journal becomes a record of everything you’ve gone through. Write about the problems you’re having. Write about how you solve those problems. Include everything. Then go back and read your journal sometimes to remind you what you’ve already gone through. Use this book for ideas on how to tackle the problems of today.
Remember, it’s Not About You.
If self-doubt is fueled by a caustic remark from someone else or how someone treats you, take a step back from the emotional backlash. Before you get fired up, remind yourself this is likely more about the other person than you. You don’t know what kind of day they’re having or what they’re going through. Take what they say with a grain of salt and move on. There’s absolutely no reason to start doubting yourself just because of what someone else happened to say.
Readjust Expectations
Do you doubt yourself because you feel like you’re on the wrong track? Here’s where you need to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. There’s nothing wrong with making adjustments to the plan. Dreams don’t just happen from the initial blueprint. Sometimes you need to tweak things significantly if information or situations change. Rather than get hung up when this happens, look for ways to readjust the plan. You’ll be back on track in no time.
Celebrate Wins
Self-doubt hates success. This is why it’s so essential to get in the habit of celebrating when things go right. It doesn’t matter if the progress is little; make a point to enjoy the same milestone. After all, you and your dreams deserve it!
